About This Much...

This time yesterday, I was hangin’ ‘bout yea high...

Wed, 11 Apr 2012 14:51:05 -0400

This time yesterday, I was hangin’ ‘bout yea high from a sycamore tree. Got a thumb splinter to prove it.

Sorry I’m late, but FYI, if you give the manager at Java Lounge...

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 23:54:37 -0400

Sorry I’m late, but FYI, if you give the manager at Java Lounge a quick rubdown about here on his back he’ll give you a free travel cup.

Well you tell Fred it’s not a steak fry if it’s...

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 23:39:27 -0400

Well you tell Fred it’s not a steak fry if it’s skinnier than about this, OK?

Whatever happened during the day, I just tweak that hotel...

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 23:24:55 -0400

Whatever happened during the day, I just tweak that hotel thermostat about this much before bed and I’m transported to a special place.

I’m told our next stop is a restaurant with tater tots...

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 23:10:38 -0400

I’m told our next stop is a restaurant with tater tots about as big as my thumb.

To practice talking in sound bites, I usually hold my cat about...

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 18:53:41 -0400

To practice talking in sound bites, I usually hold my cat about here and try to make my point before he starts hunting my eyebrows.

Hold them up about this high for a few seconds, and remember, a...

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 18:24:06 -0400

Hold them up about this high for a few seconds, and remember, a heavy tomato is a ripe tomato.

Last time I stepped on Newt’s bus I saw a tome about this big on...

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 18:22:00 -0400

Last time I stepped on Newt’s bus I saw a tome about this big on the history of the Georgia peach.

My first green boutonnière was about this big, but now it’s...

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 03:03:44 -0400

My first green boutonnière was about this big, but now it’s pinned to the bottom of a puddle.

My friend asked me to bring over three pineapples and I was...

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 00:35:00 -0400

My friend asked me to bring over three pineapples and I was like, ‘dude I’ve only got about this many hands.’

Unlike my opponents, I have a proven record of writing...

Sun, 18 Mar 2012 23:15:00 -0400

Unlike my opponents, I have a proven record of writing conservative esses with no more than about this much flair.

When I’m at Country Buffet I gotta keep my eyes locked...

Sat, 17 Mar 2012 14:53:00 -0400

When I’m at Country Buffet I gotta keep my eyes locked about here, otherwise I’m doing nothing but window shopping.

If you’re holding onto the subway pole any lower than...

Sat, 17 Mar 2012 14:35:10 -0400

If you’re holding onto the subway pole any lower than about here, your next stop is gonna be the physical therapist.

The moment the burger’s about this close to my lips is the...

Sat, 17 Mar 2012 05:05:47 -0400

The moment the burger’s about this close to my lips is the moment I get dead serious about my meal.

Strangest thing I’ve seen on the campaign trail was a...

Thu, 15 Mar 2012 15:49:18 -0400

Strangest thing I’ve seen on the campaign trail was a four-year-old boy about this tall who objected to my position on corn subsidies.

How is this a measurement of determination? Why are you all...

Thu, 15 Mar 2012 00:48:11 -0400

How is this a measurement of determination? Why are you all clapping?

The mocking typically begins about there in my field of vision.

Thu, 15 Mar 2012 00:42:26 -0400

The mocking typically begins about there in my field of vision.

A chicken egg this size would forever alter my breakfast...

Wed, 14 Mar 2012 22:22:28 -0400

A chicken egg this size would forever alter my breakfast routine.

It only takes about this much water to give me an ear infection.

Wed, 14 Mar 2012 21:47:13 -0400

It only takes about this much water to give me an ear infection.

Stop, right there, that’d be a perfect beard size for your...

Wed, 14 Mar 2012 21:44:16 -0400

Stop, right there, that’d be a perfect beard size for your face.